#1: Be set apart Joshua 5:1-9 John 17:16-18 Summary: Circumcision is a painful process of cutting something off. Likewise, we must face the pain of cutting off the ways of this world to identify with God. We are not of this world, but sent to it – that’s what it means to be set apart. We can’t reject that we are sent (separatism), and we also can’t reject that we are not of this world (assimilation). Christian families must be set apart from this world for change and growth to happen. #2: Make progress in responsibility Joshua 5:10-12 Summary: God expected Israel to grow in responsibility by no longer providing manna, but it was gradual and planned. We can hurt relationships by expecting too much and demanding quick change. But we can also hurt relationships by expecting too little and allowing someone to avoid simple accountability. This is simple, but it’s hard because the first step in growing in responsibility is admitting where we are irresponsible with our emotions, words, or actions. We need a plan that allows for gradual growth, and we have to be ready for a lot of failure, forgiveness, conversation, patience, and love. #3: Choose your side Joshua 5:13-15 Summary: Joshua had a two-dimensional view of conflict when he asked God, “Are you for us or for our enemies?” The commander of the Lord’s army said, “Neither.” Sometimes a family culture doesn’t grow or change because of power struggles. People think, ‘Either I’m right and they’re wrong, or I’m wrong and they’re right.’ And of course, more often than not, both sides think they are right. The way out is to understand that God never picks sides because only He is holy. Instead of trying to prove we’re on the right side, we must pick God’s side. We must humble ourselves and accept that we all contribute to problems in some way. Without humility and repentance, no family can grow together. Sample questions for GCs: Be set apart – In what ways is your family sometimes too much like the world? When are you tempted to just separate? When are you tempted to just assimilate? Cutting off the ways of the world can be painful: When does fighting for holiness bring pain in your life? Make progress in responsibility – Has someone ever hurt you by being impatient and expecting too much, not understanding that growth is gradual? Have you hurt someone with your impatience? Are you good at making plans for growth in your personal life or family? Why or why not? Choose your side – Have you ever been in a power struggle in which both sides thought they were ‘more right?’ Why did God not pick sides in Joshua chapter 5? Why does a family need humility and repentance to grow together?